All Prayers are Appreciated

At this point the. doctors, Pastor and Koyce are doing what they can. The rest is in the hands of God so we covet your prayers. We receive daily offers and written prayers and one of these prayers was written by Mary Smith of Salem, Oregon. Here is her prayer:

“I look up to the mountains—
does my help come from there?
Picture of our house as a kid in E. Wenatchee

Mary Smith was going to call one day and pray with me but decided instead to write out her prayer and send it. Listen to it. “Dear Lord, hear my prayer. It is from my heart, and it's for someone very, very dear to me.

My friend, David, faces a tough week. But, that's nothing for you, God. You aren't surprised by our circumstances or taken aback by our life experiences, because you see the road ahead. You already know what you're going to do and how it will be accomplished.

But, since WE don't know what lies ahead, here's my specific prayer request: Heal him, Lord. Restore David's health. Give him courage in those 3 am alone times, and remind him that HE ISN'T ALONE, because you're right there with him through every moment.

We thank you for life. We thank you for our mothers and fathers who gave us life and for all we've learned and know about your Word and YOU, but we don't know enough. We want more years to grow in your ways and influence more people and to enjoy more time on planet earth. But only if it's your will, Father.

Thank you for the people you bring to our lives....David to mine. And Koyce to David's. Oh, I pray that Koyce will be a strong woman, filled with confidence that you're going to bring her through this, and we know that she's going to need a lot of strength. Bring friends to her side.

Bless Scott and Mike. They love their father so much! They need their Dad. So do the grandchildren. So, I'm asking you to carry this family through an uncertain time, knowing you are with them every minute.

Lord, hear my prayer. I thank you for all that you are going to do, and we claim your many promises, especially Psalm 121. We know our help comes from you. You are mighty, awesome, and we praise you, now and always.

In Jesus name I pray, amen.

Love, Mary (Curt, too)”

Mary made reference to Psalm 121 that begins by saying, “I look up to the mountains—does my help come from there? (Psalm 121:1). In David Jeremiah’s book, A Bend in the Road, I used it relied heavily on it in preparing a message about the journey I was about to embark on. This is what I said to them: “The writer here has prepared himself for his journey through the mountains to Jerusalem. And as he gets unto the road, he takes a minute and gazes up to the horizon. There he begins to think of the miles ahead, all the twists and turns and even surprises. He also thinks of the dust and the heat, the darkness and all the thirsty miles. He admires, however, the graceful line where the mountains and the sky come together.

When I almost 9 years of age, my dad took a ride on the Great Northern Railway going west and went through the Rocky Mountains. He had never seen mountains as majestic and he said that the thrill of seeing such majestic mountains caused him to cry. No wonder my dad eventually built a house in the state of Washington where he could look out the windows and see the mountains. It was spectacular. (And I showed the people a view out of our living room window that we looked at every single day. Above is a picture of our place being built in the winter of the mid 1950s)

Now there are many places in the Bible that describe the mountains as a place of blessing, but—we all know that the mountains can also be a place of danger. Mountains are places where people lose their lives. The rocks and caves hide wild animals as well as bloodthirsty bandits. Pagan cultures built their temples in the mountains. The godly pilgrims found a sense of majesty in the high country, but they also found a sense of danger and fear of the unknown. The writer of the psalms must have thought about all of these things as he gazed upon the mountains and began his journey so he says, “I look up to the mountains, where will my help come from?”

Now if you were raised like I was with the King James Bible, you can probably quote for me the first verse of Psalm 121 and then complete the next sentence. For it says, “I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, (and what is next? It is,) from whence cometh (or ‘comes’ in the NKJ) my help. And probably many of us have thought that this verse was saying, “that the hills are the place from which help comes.” But unfortunately, the King James left out a dash here and a question so that the verse should have read,

“I look up to the mountains— (dash) does my help come from there?” The answer is of course “no. Not at all.” The hills are not the place from which our help comes, rather the hills are the place where help is needed. The hills or mountains represent the perils of the journey due to the crevices and ravines along with wild beasts and robbers. The mountains are a place of danger. The pilgrims of old looked to the mountain ranges that they had to cross on their route to Jerusalem and they were wondering where they would get some help. It is in this situation that the psalmist says,

“My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth!” (Psalm 121:2). It is the Lord who is the source of our strength. Our help comes from no one but God. What a lesson for life’s travelers on this earth. And don’t overlook how the Lord is described here. He is the one who made heaven and earth. The idea is—our help comes from a Creator who hung the stars in space and set the earth upon its course. What encouragement this is! I mean, think about it. If God can guide the planets, he can surely guide our steps through the ups and downs and the twists and turns and the bends we come across in life’s journey.

Think about this. When your journey brings you to a bend in the road such as hearing that you have cancer, or you just lost your job or a number of other things, you can be filled with a sense of helplessness. And you will cry out to God and say, “Lord, I need your help!” And in the moment of deep anxiety, we need to remember this—and it is, the One to whom you are praying is the One who created the heaven and earth. He is the Creator God. So, take a deep breath and look to the Lord who can certainly take care of you. Some of our people at church are a bit concerned about how I am going to handle the curve in the road I have just come upon. But know this—help is on the way. For my help is coming primarily from the Lord.” David Jeremiah has a great big that came out of his experience with cancer. I would highly recommend it for anyone who has come upon a bend in the road.

Now a word of praise. David came through the Stem Cell Transplant superbly Thanks for praying.

Scott Flies down; Koyce and I off to Stanford

On Saturday, we picked up Scott at the Oakland airport and we had a great time of bonding in the evening. On Sunday, he preached. The reason we were unable to hear him speak is that we had a 10:00 AM appointment at Stanford so we drove down to receive a bout of chemo. Then we returned home. Tuesday we headed back to Stanford for several weeks.

Scott was well-received at the church and they gave him book which a number of our people left a note. Here are some of these notes. Elton and Audrey Swanson wrote, “Thank you for standing in the gap while your dear father is temporally laid aside.” Josephine Ward wrote, “In appreciation for your ministry to us today, I trust the Lord is blessing you in your church in Oregon.” Barbara Goldstein said, “We are so happy to have you with us today. We love your dad and are praying for his recovery.” Calvin Fei wrote. We praise God for your father and we praise him for his great work in you. Thanks for preaching this week.” “We love your mom and dad. What a blessing they are. It is great we get to hear you speak” Nancy Jones. “Scott, So good to have you among us today. Praise God for such a dedicated son. Laura Bishari said, “Your father speaks so well of you. We can see he is very proud of his son.” Fran Heighes said, “Remember the summer you were at Calvary, glad to see you again.” Fern Aagard wrote, “Hi Scott, It’s nice to have you here to share with us—and to encourage your parents. Congratulating you on your new job and ministry as a pastor. 1 Cor. 15:58. Gail and Jim Bradway said, “Thanks for helping us out when you’re the one needing help” Oyin Ajala wrote, “Your dad certainly raised a godly man; it’s written all over you….God bless you, ” Another comment was, “Thank you for your beautiful message. God bless you in your mission.” Nicolos, Antonieta and Marco Roncagliolo. Diane Dishman said, “May God bless you and comfort you during this time, Scott!—I had a blue and white 55 Chevy!” Scott’s message was restoration of godliness from the story and David and Bathsheba. To illustrate his point of restoration, he referred to the restoration of his 56 Chevy while he was in high school.

On one of Scott’s cards he left for me was entitled, “10 Great Memories with My Dad.” The first one said, “Every time I look into my garage, I see this “classic” of a car that you had the vision to put together. I don’t think I learned much about cars in the process, but the time spent with you and Mike was so profitable for me. To this day, I have great relationships with both of you, and I have a pretty sweet ride.” Neat uh?

In the afternoon, we had some more bonding time as we mainly looked at some of my 35M slides from the past. When he really wanted some of them to show his son who is now twelve, we canned them and I sent them to his computer. But as the evening came upon us I developed a fever that seemed to continue through until the morning. We took him to the airport just before noon after getting him an In and Out Burger, which I believe is his favorite food in California. Shortly after, I began having some side effects, probably because I wasn’t allowed to have one of those burgers! On Tuesday, I felt much better as we journeyed to Stanford. Once we arrived, I saw that my room had a window, something we had prayed for and outside the window are two blossoming trees and a fountain in the court room. The gardens are beautiful.

But I was hit with some pretty nasty chemo and when we got into the second hour mark. I was feeling pretty edgy and restless. Maybe it was because it was laced with alcohol and they said that I would have a sense of a hangover. I told them I never had a drink in my life and they told me that even strong drinkers face this even worse that I did. Overall they were pleased with my progress. Later in the evening the sensations wore off.

In the morning I was able to read another card that Scott left with Koyce. This time it started with a note that said, “Oh, so many memories.” And this card read; “You teaching me how to bunt by throwing the ball in my face.” (Then all of these have a smiley face following them.’ Next, You “forcing me to play basketball in high school and college, hey I drained a half court shot at WOSC.” The Chevy making it to the coast and back before the wheels went whack as you entered into Dallas” Telling us to “laugh all the way to the bank” after umpping when Mr. Hamilton yelled at us. After performing a funeral, you took me a card show in Portland where you talked to a guy and bought his 1963 cards of Yaz and Spahn.
In the afternoon we went to a concert in the hospital atrium featuring Biddy Early’Bottle and Traditional Irish Tunes all in honor of St. Patrick’s Day yesterday. The story line was that Biddy didn’t sing for money in her days so people received whisky instead. However, Biddy didn’t drink that much but her husbands did, all four of them and they all died long before her, apparently of drinking too much. On Friday, we have another concert here and tomorrow we have another big shot of chemo, one that my pastor Scott asked if he could pray for me over the phone!
As we wind down this note to you, let me tell you that some of you have asked if you could send a note or card and I just found out today that you can write to:

Stanford Hospital.
Blood Marrow Transplant Unit E-1.
David F. Miller
300 Pasteur Dr. mail code 4507.
Stanford, CA 94305.

A God Thing!

During the time I am in the hospital which appears to be almost a month, Koyce will not be able to stay with me. So what should she do? Should she drive home every night? The drive is too long and would be quite tiring. Should she come only a couple days a week to see me? She would never buy into this plan. Should she stay with my sister in Fremont? Well, it is still a 30-45 minute drive and then there is the bridge toll every day? So, should she stay in a hotel in the area? This would be real expensive and maybe a bit scary staying by one’s self every night.

The ideal would be to stay with someone we knew within a ten minute drive to the Stanford Hospital. Did we know any such person? The answer is—well, maybe. You see, a little over three years prior, I was preaching a series of messages entitled 40 Days of Prayer. It was a good time to deal with such a subject because this was when I had been diagnosed with cancer the first time. Then one Sunday morning, a couple walked in named Bill and Lucie Silene. They loved the series and wished that they could do the same thing in their church. I gave them all of my messages and we had a few left over devotional books that their people could work through. And guess what? They lived right by Stanford! And they told me that if I ever needed a place to stay while at Stanford, to just give them a call. They sent me a nice card and I saved it! That’s right. I have saved all kinds of encouraging notes and things over the years. So, I went to my notebook after hearing of the reoccurrence of my cancer and found that card with their address right there. I gave them a call to see if we could possibly have Koyce stay with them while I was in the hospital. However, timing was going to be a challenge. Their daughter had returned home from college and grandma was temporarily living with them. But they told me that they knew some people very close by the University in the town of Atherton.

They said that they were going to ask Bill and Marilee to see if Koyce could stay at their place. And before I knew it, Marilee was on the phone and enthusiastically invited Koyce to come and stay in their huge house. They gave us a key, free reign of the house and company whenever she needed it. And they were only 10 minutes at most from the hospital. All Koyce has to do is to drive in each morning, either park the car at the Stanford parking garage for $12 a day or drive over to the mall where they allow people to park free and then take the free shuttle to the hospital. You can guess what plan we decided to take! Besides, when she wants to get away from me, she has a place to go where she can exercise her spiritual gift! What is her gift? You probably know. It is the gift of shopping! Isn’t this all amazing. I can say only one thing. This whole situation was a God-sent. What is a God-sent? It is when you stumble across something so unexplainable and wonderful that it has to be a gift from God! This was certainly wonderful and for us, it is a God-sent. Praise the Lord!

Friday the Thirteenth

I woke up early on Friday, the thirteenth and opened my computer and here was the first message I read. It said, “Dr. Miller, I have a "weirded out" story to tell you. I woke up early this morning about 3:30 am. And I was talking to the Lord and you came to my mind. I said to Lord how much I appreciated your teaching etc. I got up because I could not sleep, went downstairs and played on the computer. I looked at my e-mail and I got an e-mail from Claudia Greene about your cancer treatment. I was reminded in class you mentioned about the prompting of the Spirit to pray for people. So consider yourself prayed for I considered myself prompted. I've had those experiences before but I like to keep them to myself because frankly some of the people I've talked to about these things say their lifters don't always go to the top. I know I shouldn't be weirded out when God does things but I still am. I believe that God still heals and I'm praying for that. I would send Benny Hinn down your way but you're ready have an injury to your head without giving you another concussion.:) Take care. I'm praying for you, Chuck Cramer.”

Then Chuck wrote, “Here's something else to cheer you up: A Scotsman visited London for his annual holiday and stayed at a large hotel. However, he didnae feel that the natives were friendly. "At 4 o'clock every morning," he told a friend, "they hammered on my bedroom door, one the walls, even on the floor and ceiling. Heck, sometimes they hammered so loud I could hardly hear myself playing the bagpipes.” Goodness, how did Chuck know that I was Scottish?!

By the way, my friend Dick Christen in Bermuda sent me a note and a cartoon. Then under the cartoon, he said, “GOD HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR. Abraham was 100 years old when he and aged wife Sarah gave birth to a son. When God said He was going to give them a baby "Sarah laughed within herself." She thought it quite funny that the "oldsters" would be having a baby. But within that chuckle was an element of disbelief with which the Lord took issue. However, after Isaac was born she had occasion to say, "God has made me laugh, and all who hear will laugh with me" (Genesis 21:6). There's irony here: She laughed wrongly but then God made her laugh. And so, sure enough, to this day we read the story with a chuckle. This miracle birth with its long-term Messianic implications was a serious matter but had a humorous aside. It is healthy to serve the Lord with all seriousness of purpose but we must never forget to smile along the way. Like the antics of a monkey, God has placed instigators of laughter throughout His created order. There is much in life that makes us groan (Romans 8:23) but much also tickles our funny bones. Someone remarked: "We need the enthusiasm of the young. We need their joie de vivre. In it is reflected something of the original joy God had in creating man." Do read Proverbs 8:30, 31.”

Speaking of humor, I received this note from a former student and pastor friend of mine in Sacramento who wrote, “…I checked out your blog—amazingly informative! However, you had to ruin it with all that unnecessary info about Larson and the Yankees beating the Dodgers—remember, I am a So Cal guy and will always bleed Dodger blue (although in too many recent years, we’ve just been bleeding!) Praying for your brother….Gary”

Well back to Friday the 13th, I received several comments on my blog from people. Here are a few excerpts of them. One from our good friend Sherrill Christen, “I love that picture....you look like a little boy, David. WE have spent some good times together. lots of memories.especially Palm Springs Ca. Praying, praying....” Someone else wrote, “My prayers are with you during this time. May God continue to give you His Strength, Mercy, Grace, and endurance through this journey in your life. In His Peace; Pete Coulson.”

A friend known as pammycakes who is a dental hygienist from Texas wrote and said, “hi mr. david......how are you.....mighty fine lookin to me in that bed of yours with the bald head..kinda reminds me of my dad!! and i thought the patch looked good too......hey koyce....are you hangin in there??? i am praying for you two....i love you both...it's great to be able to read of your progress and schedules...make sure you use your rotadent david!!! or i might have to come up there and keep your teeth clean for you!!! oooh your own private hygienist!!! love you both......pam” I wrote and told her that in the next couple of weeks, I will be using a baby toothbrush and flossing will not be allowed!

"Nice to see you are still with us. Those were the words of one of my doctors. I've had my own journey these past months also….A college friend called me tonight to remind me he is praying for me. He asked what has changed in me since my sickness. I said it is that I'm more in tune with those who are sick or with those who has family members that are ill. Not that I wasn't before but I'm learning to listen in a different way to them and their story. Dave, the best thing being out of the hospital is that at home no one pokes me for blood! Robert Danielian. Dallas, Oregon.” Bob has gone through much more than I will ever go through and we had our whole church praying for him when he was at the height of his suffering. Thanks Bob for writing.”

Also on Friday the 13th, our son Scott was not afraid to get on a plane and fly down so we could spend some time together and for him to preach for me on Sunday. We had a great time in the afternoon and evening together. And one last thing. At 8:30 AM on Friday the 13th, I got a call from the Senior Case Manager of the Member Case Resolution Center to tell me what they had decided about a letter I had written to them. To understand, here is the background of the call. About a month ago, I went into the Pharmacy to get some drugs and I walked out after putting $4300 on my credit card for one drug, Neupogen. This surprised me a little because three years ago, this was all covered under my Kaiser insurance. However, I changed to Senior Advantage two years ago which included Medicare benefits. Nevertheless, a nurse coordinator had asked me a few months earlier if I had Medicare D because this would make a big difference in what I would be paying. I double checked it and I was covered. So I decided to write a letter and ask a question about my coverage and was told that they would be giving me an answer within 72 hours. So, I picked up the phone Friday morning to receive the verdict and was told that I would be getting a check in the mail for $4300! All I can say is, “Praise the Lord for this blessing and thanks to Kaiser for looking into this and—not a bad day for Friday the 13th!

Our Last Visit at the Stanford Medical Center

Yesterday we went to Stanford to start some more Chemotherapy before ending up in the hospital in just a week. I had my own private room and one real fine nurse. She had taught Koyce a few weeks earlier how to clean the Catheter every day and how to put on a new patch where the line goes into the skin and connects to an vein. She was very pleasant and we enjoyed her very much. Yesterday, we started talking about our church and she mentioned that she was raised a PK. And she told us that one of her sons is in the ministry today. Later she said to us, “I meet some real nice people from time to time and I wonder if they could be believers.” She had said that she wondered if we might be believers. Within a week, I will be taking some real mean chemo and they said that I would be quite irritable an hour after they begin to put the stuff into my body. At this I had said, “Irritable? I am irritable all ready!” But this was a nice word to hear that someone thought we might be a believer.

While we were there yesterday, I was also given a home infusion pump that I need to carry around for the next week. I call it my new Teddy Bear as I even have to take it to bed with me each night. Its purpose is to pump continual Heparin into my body in order to prevent clots in blood vessels before and after surgery or during medical procedures. We were given a short overview of how the pump works and we were told what to do if the medicine stops flowing because of kink with the tubes or the batteries dying. The line connects to one of lines to my Catheter and the bag goes with me when I get up and move around and even when I go for a shower.

The next chemo day is Sunday. Our oldest son Scott will be coming down from Oregon and will be speaking for me. Koyce and I will miss it but hopefully I can get a tape of the service. In a week, hopefully, I can send you a picture of my hospital room. Thanks for all your encouragement and prayers. P.S. By the way, I stumbled when at home and hit my head on the closet opening and skinned up my head. That's the reason for the patch. But it is doing fine.

A Principal Player at WCCA

In 1949, First Baptist Church began the Walnut Creek Christian Academy. The Academy is celebrating its 60th anniversary this year along with the church that is celebrating its 70th anniversary. The Principal of our schools is Esther McClellan who has done a superb job of leading our school board, our faculty and staff. Today, she emailed me the following encouraging note:

“Hi Pastor,
Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you both as you start the hardest leg of the journey. Just finished looking at your blog. What a great use of your time when so many of your activities are limited. Technology is great, and the Lord must be pleased with how you're using it to bless so many... your family, your friends, and maybe even strangers God sends your way.

We miss you at church. Terry did a great job, and we look forward to Scott's coming down next week. Still, no one can replace you!

Anyway, wanted to send along a note to remind you that I'm praying for you daily. I admire and respect you more than I can put into words. Thank God for sending you back to California, and thank you for listening to Him. You are good for our church, good for the school, good for my family, and good for me! Because you believed in me, you gave me confidence I didn't think I had to do a job I never even wanted! :) God works in mysterious ways!

From my notes on Chip Ingram's God As He Longs for You to See Him DVD series..."You are the object of God's affection. God is good to you not because you are good, but because He is." Psalm 84:11, "For the Lord God is a sun (unlimited resources) and a shield (unlimited protection). The Lord gives grace and glory. No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly."

I am praying for abundant resources and protection for both you and Koyce.
Love, Esther.”

Great Technique for Managing Stress

I just returned from Stanford where I was given an update of what the next month was going to look like. I have to be honest and tell you that hearing all of these things and watching Koyce reach for the Kleenex again that I sensed a bit of stress was coming our way. But when I got home, there was in the mailbox a nice card from some good friends of ours over the years, John and Carol Soriano from Oregon. You can see the card above where it speaks of providing a helpful technique for managing stress. It says, “First, get one of those glass snow domes with a happy little snowman and an idyllic, peaceful winter scene.” Then you open the card and it says, “Next, get a hammer.” A great thought to be sure!

On the inside these wonderful people left a note that made my day. It read, “Dear Dave, Hope this brings a smile! (It sure did). Then they wrote the sweetest of notes saying, “We just want you to know you are in our prayers and thoughts during this time. Your influence continues to permeate VBC (Valley Baptist Church) and that is a good thing. Young people continue to grow up in this atmosphere and trust that in time they will continue what you and Koyce started here. Know that you are well remembered in prayers and with much love. Thanks for the updates through your blog. Love John & Carol S.” What great memories. We started a church in Oregon and pastured there for 17 years. Today that work continues to go on and John and Carol and been there probably for 25-30 years now.

Yes, as I drove home yesterday, it seemed like the light at the end of the tunnel was a train. But when I received this encouraging card, it jolted me back into the reality of what they light really is. Thank the Lord for those who are there for all of us and the constant encouragement that they can bring to our lives. And the writer of Hebrews says, “And let us…encourage…each other, especially now that the day of his coming back again is drawing near” (NLT Hebrews 10:25). So, today I am encouraged!

The March Schedule

Here is a shot in the hospital at Stanford, laptop and all. And below is the schedule for the month of March. Around the middle of the month is when the action begins to really pick up.

March 6 Go to Stanford of labs and a chest x-ray; meet with Dr. Sally Arai, my main Oncologist.
March 10 I begin continuous IV heparin. #1 Gemcitabine, Navelbine. All precautions of diet, mask, the beginning of boiling water, eliminate salads and uncooked vegetables, eliminate all restaurant food, no cheese sliced at the deli, no fresh fruits and frozen fruit, no sweet rolls or donuts, eliminate pepper, spices and any cooked food left over for more than 24 hours.
March 15 #2 Gemecitabine and Navelbine
March 17 Admittance to Stanford hospital
March 18 Rest
March 19 Given VP 16
March 20 Rest
March 21 Cytoxan
March 22 Rest
March 23 Transplant
March 24 Remain in hospital until blood counts recover (At least 2-3 weeks).

Now do you want to hear what these chemotherapy drugs could do to me? No, you don’t. But let me summarize. It goes from nausea, vomiting and diarrhea to mucositis (sores in mouth and throat) to something fatal. That’s enough to hear about. But in a book they gave me, it lists it all. Now you see why my sons wanted to call and talk about baseball, uh? So, let’s talk about something pleasant like my daily routine in the hospital.
Here it is:

5:00 AM vital signs (blood pressure, temperature, pulse) and weight
7:00 AM breakfast and oral care
8:30 AM physician’s visit and room cleaning
9:00 AM oral care, shower and catheter dressing changes
10:00 AM vital signs, skin care, physical therapy and Chest X-ray on Wednesday
11:00 AM Lunch and oral care
2:00 PM vital signs, oral care and skin care
4:00 PM weight
5:00 PM dinner, oral care and physicians visit
6:00 PM vital signs and skin care
8:00 PM oral care and lab draws
10:00 PM vital signs and skin care
12:00 AM vital signs

And then it looks like I can sleep without being bothered until 5:00 AM. Not bad I guess. In the meantime, I can read, do puzzles (that’s not me), hobbies, tapes, movie videos and I suppose watch TV. In fact they say, “Do you have a big box of photographs stashed someplace? Putting them in photo albums can be an enjoyable project while hospitalized.” My daughter in laws would be so proud if they heard that I finally got into scrapbooking!