The Importance of Having Dedicated Friends

Did you hear about the woman who accompanied her husband to the doctor's office? After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die." Then he said,
"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.
Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. And most importantly, don’t nag him if he doesn’t want to talk to you.
Now, If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?" And she said,
"The doctor said—you're going to die."

Well, I have to tell you this. My wife who was my designated care giver did what she was called upon to do. In fact, a good friend of hers told her a week ago, “I could not have done what you were asked to do.” So, in my message this morning, I want to say “Thank you” to my wife especially and—to those who reached out to me and to both of us the last few months. You see, basically, I was helpless a good share of the time. I couldn’t drive, couldn’t do any chores and I had to depend on others.

Now in light of this, I want to bring to a conclusion our series entitled, Surviving Life’s Curves and this morning, I want to talk to you about The Importance of Having Dedicated Friends. Maybe you have heard it said, “With friends like this, who needs enemies?” But, in contrast, we can be surrounded by dedicated friends as King David was and say what he did. So, if you want to grab your sermon notes, I want to begin by looking at Psalm 16:3 where David writes,

“The godly people in the land are my true heroes! I take pleasure in them!” (Psalm 16:3). The people David has in mind are those dedicated friends of his who put their lives on the line for him while he was on the run. And David is moved, not only by the greatness of God in Psalm 16, but by the godly-friends he had. Question. Do you have friends like this? Do you ever just stop and delight in your friends? Do you let them know that they are your true heroes in your life?
Some of David’s friends were like Jonathan that most of us have read about and probably Abishai who we referred to earlier in our study and who risked his life for David. While David had to go through a few rough times in life, God always provided a friend to go there with him. And God does this for us as well. He does it through family, friends and the church. Do you remember the Lone Ranger? This is not God’s intended plan for any of us.
And a good time to count your friends is when you go through a storm. I have to tell you this. I have never been through anything like this. Not only the time of being in the hospital, but the months that followrd. I can’t walk on dirt, can’t do any yard work, can’t fly on a plane for 6 months and all kinds of stuff. But in times like this, the true nature of God’s people becomes clear to us. What would we do without our friends? Well, I just wanted to tell you today that God has given me some fantastic, good and godly friends. These are my heroes. And I would like to mention some of them to you today and I trust that if you are not named, that you realize that it is not because you are unimportant. For I have more friends than I can keep track off and more than I can cover today. So, who are some of them? Besides my wife—are my two sons and their families.

First, I have some wonderful grandkids. Here is just one of them. Randall Foster who got his middle name from my middle name. On crazy hair due day at school, he identified with his granddad who was losing his hair. And you know, David Gangarapu did the same thing. Noriko wouldn’t do it!

Well, you probably heard the story but after chemo treatment one day at Stanford, I got a call from our youngest son Mike. He was excited and wanted me to know that Ken Griffey, a baseball player was being traded to Seattle. This was great news for fans up north. While I was speaking to him, another call came in. I thought, “This must be Mike’s brother Scott.” Sure enough, as soon as I hung up with Mike, I checked my phone and it was Scott. I called him and he said, “Did you hear the news? Ken Griffey is coming to Seattle.” I had a good talk with my two sons over the phone and when it was over, I wrote up something on my blog entitled, “Griffey is coming to Seattle, so much for Dad!” What I was trying to say was that the boys were all excited about Ken Griffey but—they never asked me how I was doing! When my wife told her sisters about this, they were horrified. “What’s the matter with those boys? Their dad is dying and all they want to do is talk about baseball? But, I didn’t take it this way. I thought, “How nice of those guys to call me and tell me the good news.” You see, I know those guys. They were a bit afraid about what I was going through and they weren’t sure that they wanted to hear any more bad news anyhow.” The fact that they called was a way to tell me that they loved me and were concerned about me. I knew this. Besides, I made them baseball nuts like this.

Here is Scott and he is about 3 and just got a mitt. I sent him this picture recently on his 40th birthday. In addition, we send him $40 for his birthday and he went out and bought a new mitt with the money since they were knocking $100 off the original price of a mitt at what used to be called Trader’s Joes. And we heard from his wife that he loved the mitt so much, he even took it to bed with him the first night. It was his new Teddy Bear. So, he is a baseball fanatic. No doubt about it.

Besides, we bought a picture for his bedroom of Griffey many years ago and so we helped his addiction!

I also went with the boys to a game in Seattle a few years back when we all got a bobble head of Ken Griffey. So, take it anyway you want, but I take it that my sons are also my friends, in fact, fantastic friends. Talking about friends. When, Dr. William Bellshaw, who was the dean of the seminary when I was a student, read my blog about the boys and Ken Griffey and had his Sunday school class praying for me in Seattle, he sent me on 3 different occasions 3 full page posters of Griffey in the Seattle P.I.

Here is a picture of one of the posters. But, let me tell you of some more ways people have responded besides my wife and our sons. First, do you remember the home-made poster the kids made me and gave to me last Sunday? That was so nice. In addition to this was a home-made poster I got from the kids at the Chinese Alliance Church in Concord. Here is what it says (Poster). Another poster that the kids made from here is one that I will show you in a couple of weeks as those ladies that brought it to me are for the most part gone this week and next. Here is another chart done by my wife and the nurses to keep me posted on what was going on and some statements about how good God was.

Well, let me jump to some other things. I need to thank our board for being helpful and kind for they agreed to let me have some time off to go through this ordeal. And even when I told them that I would fill in a couple of weeks so I wouldn’t take advantage of the church, they said, “Pastor, we would much rather you stay home, get well and not have any relapses.” I felt like they were all on my team in this because of their attitudes. And I appreciate the different speakers who came in here and especially Ken Mindrup who kept things going and preached a lion’s share of the load. And Mel Jones kept up on people who were missing while I was gone and kept me posted on this as well.

Another thing I appreciated were encouraging notes that were sent my way. I liked this one by the Swansons since it fit so well with the theme of surviving the bends in the road. It said,
“It’s not easy getting parts for us older models,

Please get back on the road soon and take care of yourself.” And I got a lot of notes. A book full of them and we would be here all day if I went through them. But here is just one from our Principal Esther McClellan who said: “Hi Pastor, Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you both as you start the hardest leg of the journey. Just finished looking at your blog. What a great use of your time when so many of your activities are limited. Technology is great, and the Lord must be pleased with how you're using it to bless so many... your family, your friends, and maybe even strangers God sends your way.
We miss you at church. Terry did a great job, and we look forward to Scott's coming down next week. Still, no one can replace you!
Anyway, wanted to send along a note to remind you that I'm praying for you daily. I admire and respect you more than I can put into words. Thank God for sending you back to California, and thank you for listening to Him. You are good for our church, good for the school, good for my family, and good for me! Because you believed in me, you gave me confidence I didn't think I had to do a job I never even wanted!  God works in mysterious ways!
From my notes on Chip Ingram's God As He Longs for You to See Him DVD series...’You are the object of God's affection. God is good to you not because you are good, but because He is.’ Psalm 84:11, "For the Lord God is a sun (unlimited resources) and a shield (unlimited protection). The Lord gives grace and glory. No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.’
I am praying for abundant resources and protection for both you and Koyce.
Love, Esther.”

I liked this note on the screen by Alyssa Knight, age 12. It was picked up by a friend of mine in Oregon who said, “I saw this card and thought of you! You are swinging back—and an army of people who love you are praying! That’s how God works. What an encouragement you both are to me.” (I liked this card because the theme of it is similar to the theme of my blog, that is, we want life to be in a straight line but there are curves along the way. Also, this was written when I was not feeling like writing, but I wanted you to see it anyway. Back to the note .)
In some ways we are going through this process with you—thank you for making it so clear as to what to expect as you go through the various steps. It makes it much easier to pray appropriately!
I think you must feel so horrible! And I pray, ‘Please God, take this away soon so David will feel better.’ That seems to be all I know how to do! But just be aware that every day you are being prayed—and it is a priority.
I am keeping up with your blog but there isn’t much as to news there right now so I am assuming this is a tough time and it will get better soon! I pray for success for you and the doctors in all that is being done—and expect to hear you are doing well! Every day
we will continue to pray for you both—and thank God for what he is doing for you! Much love to you both! Jo & Jack.

Gail Bradway prayed and wrote her prayers out. In one of her prayer notes, she wrote, “And by the way, that series you just injected, it was for you, yes, and for all of us who have hard times, but it helped us all to get on the same page with you as you go thru this—we could see your thot processes—we could relate to these first steps in stem cell transplant” (Then she started praying, saying,)….Pastor is so human—brave yet fearful; realistic but hopeful. What I still think and appreciate deeply, AND I TOLD YOU THIS way back when I helped him announce the cancer with ‘Little cardboard David’ is that he takes sooo much care to try to ease our anxiety as a flock, when he’s got to be hurting so much himself. How Christ like.

I was so impressed with the prayers over them today—Esther’s history lesson, Calvin’s ‘from everlasting to everlasting you are God.’ I don’t know how anyone could have walked away not being blessed and it really wasn’t to be that way….really we were praying over him and blessing your love. The praise was yours again….P.S. I’m thinkin’ in many respects this ordeal will be harder for Koyce than David—it’s very hard to be a spectator and comforter when you can’t really relate because she hasn’t had a stem-cell transplant—she’s gotta have such grace, God—no problem right? You’re the grace-giver!” As Gail read and prayed in Genesis over Abraham’s servant prayer to God, she wrote, “O God of my Master Abraham, (then she crossed it out and inserted the name David). Make things go smoothly this day—treat my master Abraham (i.e., David—well!) So you know me that you’re working graciously behind the scenes for my master.” Gail prayed on, saying, “What a beautiful verse God—I’m claiming that one also! When he gives you the credit each day for victories, we’ll all know you’re graciously working behind the scenes for him!”

I had people praying for me all over the place. Let me read a prayer from Mary Smith who did a piano concert for us a couple of years ago. Maybe you remember it. I have known Mary since at least the second grade. Mary was going to call one day and pray with me over the phone but decided instead to write out her prayer and send it. Listen to it. “Dear Lord, hear my prayer. It is from my heart, and it's for someone very, very dear to me.
My friend, David, faces a tough week. But, that's nothing for you, God. You aren't surprised by our circumstances or taken aback by our life experiences, because you see the road ahead. You already know what you're going to do and how it will be accomplished.
But, since WE don't know what lies ahead, here's my specific prayer request: Heal him, Lord. Restore David's health. Give him courage in those 3 am alone times, and remind him that HE ISN'T ALONE, because you're right there with him through every moment.
We thank you for life. We thank you for our mothers and fathers who gave us life and for all we've learned and know about your Word and YOU, but we don't know enough. We want more years to grow in your ways and influence more people and to enjoy more time on planet earth. But only if it's your will, Father.
Thank you for the people you bring to our lives....David to mine. And Koyce to David's. Oh, I pray that Koyce will be a strong woman, filled with confidence that you're going to bring her through this, and we know that she's going to need a lot of strength. Bring friends to her side.

Bless Scott and Mike. They love their father so much! They need their Dad. So do the grandchildren. So, I'm asking you to carry this family through an uncertain time, knowing you are with them every minute.
Lord, hear my prayer. I thank you for all that you are going to do, and we claim your many promises, especially Psalm 121. We know our help comes from you. You are mighty, awesome, and we praise you, now and always.
In Jesus name I pray, amen. Love, Mary (Curt, too)” But, not only did people tell me that they were praying for me, called on the phone and prayed with me and wrote their prayers but many wrote encouraging notes and cards.

Let me share with you some neat cards given to me by Scott, my son. He sent me 10 different cards of 10 of his great memories with me, his dad. These 10 cards are an hour’s reflection themselves so I will only show you 2 of the 10. In card number 1 of 10, Scott said, “Every time I look into my garage, I see this “classic” of a car that you had the vision to put together. I don’t think I learned much about cars in the process, but the time spent with you and Mike were so profitable for me. To this day, I have great relationships with both of you, and I have a pretty sweet ride.”

Then here is card number 10. “Oh, so many memories. You teaching me how to bunt by throwing the ball in my face (smiley face following ). You ‘forcing’ me to play basketball in high school and college, and hey I drained a half court shot at WOSC. The Chevy making it to the coast and back before the wheels went whack as you entered Dallas. Telling us to ‘laugh all the way to the bank’ after umping when Mr. Hamilton had just yelled at us. After performing a funeral, you took me to a card show in Portland where you talked to a guy and we bought his 1963 cards of Yaz and Spahn (More smiley faces).

And I wish I had time to show you the cards that Esther Bishop sent. She must have sent a card a week and many of them were also signed by people at Kennsington.

In addition to cards, I got some coupons that were pretty neat. They were done by Polley Darnell. One was David’s Christmas Coupon—a Koyce helper and it was for cleaning. shopping working in the church office, whatever she needs help with her choice. I also got a coupon for Kid hauling, a coupon that was a secretary for the day and even chemo companion to keep me entertained while doing chemo. And, of course, we used the one for cleaning a couple of times. I had to get rid of all the dust in order to move back into the house. And it was not only her but Diane Ketcham and Katie Jones came and did some cleaning too.

In fact, we were given a new dyson vacuum cleaner to help us with the dirt and dust. Now, I don’t know if you noticed a pattern here but what I noticed is that most of the people who did something for us just did it. You know, we can always say, “If there is anything I can do for you, just let me know.” Or, one can just do something without saying anything.

For instance, Ruth Matthews sent one of her homemade cards, someone else loaned me their DVD player without my asking. Another person brought be a bag of DVDs to see. People brought over deserts and meals. Sue Fujita’s kids did it on more than one occasion without even making an inquiry. Ana Black who went through cancer herself brought over some soup she made on a couple of occasions. It was delicious. In fact, I am glad to have with us this morning our neighbors (Rita and Allan and I want them to stand if they would). They not only brought us food but Allen mowed our lawn, trimmed the edges and washed my car. And if that wasn’t enough, he even waxed my car for me. Let’s give them a hand if you would. And Hap Jones did similar things too, butchering my Palm Tree. But it has grown back very nicely. One day he came by and noticed we weren’t there but noticed that the flowers needed water so he got out the hose and gave them a drink.
And if you think this is neat, let me share with you how you could do something like this yourself. Here are 3 names where you could reach out. The first is:

Khem, Vimul M 12/10 Ravy Mam 1/15
Rosa Moli 12/6 & Michel Ravimul 5/31 1221 Brooktrail Dr.
Pittsburg 94565 925.709.1268
Cell: 925-325-8026

Roncagliolo, Nicolas & Antonieta
Marco
3369 Chamberlain Court
Walnut Creek 94598
925.932.6034

Mahnami, Rod 2/20 & Sherrie 11/21
Jacob 6/17; Nicholas (Nick) Anthony Davis 6/29
1231 Brookview Dr.
Concord, 94520

Back to our story, one day, Koyce was cleaning out my catheter and forgot if she had done it properly. She panicked and called Oyin. Oyin had just flown to the east coast since a friend of hers just lost her husband. We called but Oyin was still in the air flying home. When she arrived that evening, she was tired and ready to hit the bed but she came running out to our place to make sure that I was okay. The help was incredible.

And Gail Barbitta was a great help too even though she was going through all of this with her daughter. And I know that I am going to kick myself for leaving out some very heroic acts of what some of our people did—but God knows and he will reward his people for being so full of care.

During the time I was in the hospital which was almost a month, Koyce would not be able to stay with me. So what should she do? Should she drive home every night? The drive is too long and would be quite tiring. Should she come only a couple days a week to see me? She would never buy into this plan. Should she stay with my sister in Fremont? Well, it is still a 30-45 minute drive and then there is the bridge toll every day? So, should she stay in a hotel in the area? This would be real expensive and maybe a bit scary staying by one’s self every night. The ideal would be to stay with someone we knew within a ten minute drive to the Stanford Hospital. Did we know any such person? The answer is—well, maybe. You see, a little over three years prior, I was preaching a series of messages entitled 40 Days of Prayer. It was a good time to deal with such a subject because this was when I had been diagnosed with cancer the first time. Then one Sunday morning, a couple walked in named Bill and Lucie Silene. They loved the series and wished that they could do the same thing in their church. I gave them all of my messages and we had a few left over devotional books that their people could work through. And guess what? They lived right by Stanford! And they told me that if I ever needed a place to stay while at Stanford, to just give them a call. They sent me a nice card and I saved it! That’s right. I have saved all kinds of encouraging notes and things over the years. So, I went to my notebook after hearing of the reoccurrence of my cancer and found that card with their address right there. I gave them a call to see if we could possibly have Koyce stay with them while I was in the hospital. However, timing was going to be a challenge. Their daughter had returned home from college and grandma was temporarily living with them. But they told me that they knew some people very close by the University in the town of Atherton.

They said that they were going to ask Bill and Marilee Clausen to see if Koyce could stay at their place. And before I knew it, Marilee was on the phone and enthusiastically invited Koyce to come and stay in their huge house.

The place they lived was beautiful. And they gave us a key and a free reign of the house and they were great company whenever Koyce needed it. And they were only 10 minutes at most from the hospital. All Koyce has to do is to drive in each morning, either park the car at the Stanford parking garage for $12 a day or drive over to the mall where they allow people to park free and then take the free shuttle to the hospital. Besides, when she wanted to get away from me, she had a place to go where she could exercise her spiritual gift! What is her gift? You probably know. It is the gift of shopping! Isn’t this all amazing. I can say only one thing. This whole situation was a God-sent. What is a God-sent? It is when you stumble across something so unexplainable and wonderful that it has to be a gift from God! This was certainly wonderful and for us; it was a God-sent. Praise the Lord

A family with two teenagers in our church sent me the neatest card. First, it started out by saying “There are greater things than you can IMAGINE ahead of you—and there’s a great God walking beside you. When you open the card, a song starts playing, ‘How great is our God.’ (Let’s listen to it). The lady of the house quoted Psalm 19:14-16 that says, “Because he loves me, ‘says the Lord,’ I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him. I will be with him in trouble. I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.’” Then she wrote “We thank God that you are in his care…the Great Physician. And what a story, you will have to tell! Can’t wait for your first Sunday back.”
Their college age son wrote, “I appreciate the time and effort you put in to the church. Can’t wait to have you back.” Their high school daughter wrote, “Pastor, we are praying for you. We appreciate all you do for our church.” Dad wrote, “Thank you for being such a great example to all of us. You are as much of an inspiration to us there in a hospital bed as you are here in our church. But we look forward to having you back with us soon.”

Another card from Laura Bishari. Inside it read, “Hang in there.” She said, “We are praying for you double time—obey the doctor, but trust the Lord to bring you back real soon. It’s not the same here at FBC without you!”

Most of us know how talented Cindy Mindrup is. One of her gifts is being a great photographer and she sent Koyce 30 such photographs with verses attached. I also received 30 cards, one for each day I was in the hospital. We loved these cards and so did our doctors, nurses and aids.

“A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all;…” (NIV Psa. 34:19).

“The seas have lifted up, O LORD, the seas have lifted up their voice; the seas have lifted up their pounding waves. Mightier than the thunder of the great waters, mightier than the breakers of the sea—the LORD on high is mighty” (NIV Psalm 93:3-4).

“How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you. If only you would slay the wicked, O God! Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!” (Psalm 139:17-19).

“From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the LORD is to be praised” (Psalms 113:3).

“I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands” (Psalm 63:4).

“being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (NIV Philippians 1:6). Let us pray.